


o' moon, your light is failing and you're nothing more than a poor bow

by vix_vivere



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Study, Lucy Heartfilia - Freeform, lucy is a sweet girl, lucy wants to be a free girl, short drabble in the mind of lucy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23585710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_vivere/pseuds/vix_vivere
Summary: ..because it seems to Lucy that life is a trouble at best and the only thing she can do is dream.(character study in the mind of Lucy before she ran away and met Natsu and all that jazz.)
Kudos: 6





	o' moon, your light is failing and you're nothing more than a poor bow

.  
.

  
It seems to Lucy that life is a trouble at best and she deeply envies her doll Michelle, for not having the ability to live at all. It must be very peaceful, she thought, to lie and slumber and dream for ever and ever, with the wind whispering through the trees and caressing the grasses and the flowers of your grave, and nothing to bother and grieve about, ever any more. She began to drift insensibly back into the concerns of her own life again. What if she turned her back now, and disappeared mysteriously? What if she went away—ever so far away, into unknown countries beyond the seas—and never came back? How would her father feel then? _Oh he would feel horrible and miss me so_ , she thought.

_He would deeply regret treating me like this. Like some sort of object._

But she would stay every time, not having the nerve nor gut to run away. Because even though sometimes she deeply hates him so, he coaxes her with words of self-pity and anger that he’s doing it all for her. That he loves her….and maybe he does. But then why does she want to get away from him so bad? If she knew he truly loved her as a father should, why does she dream of running out that door and visiting faraway places, knowing they would grieve for her absence.

And yet she would still dream, knowing they were probably never going to come true. Because dreams never really do come true, do they? Despite knowing this and telling herself to stop, she still imagines running in the streets of Clover Town. Or maybe Magnolia? And she would try all kinds of different desserts and no one could tell her she can’t because there’s nobody there that knows her. She would take peaceful walks whenever she pleased and there would be an adventure everyday and the sun would shine bright. And she wouldn’t feel bad about leaving him at all, him being the last thing on her mind because she would suppress him from it. Though hopefully, there wouldn’t be anything that would bring him back, because thinking about him would mean that everything she’s built from the ground up would disappear into thin air.

Though of course, this is all imagination..because he’s always there--haunting her--whether she likes it or not.

She loves and hates him at the same time and her heart is all wound up, tighter than a clock. And that clock is just always stuck chiming the eleventh hour, never getting to twelve, never finishing the cycle. Always just waiting for the night to get darker, but it never does. Yet she feels as if there’s something intensely addictive and satisfying about repetition. As if repeating the same mistakes time and time again offers her some chance in perfecting the flaws, until she can’t tell what was even there before.

Yes, there’s definitely something in that.

  
.  
.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually really like Lucy's character and I used to be a hardcore nalu fan before accidentally getting obsessed with gratsu and gratsustingue lmao. this was actually written during that transition (so like two years ago) so it felt wrong not to post it here.


End file.
